And Now for Something Completely Different - PART I

Bite This: According to the Journal of American Medical Association, egg donation nearly doubled from 2000 to 2010.

Brace yourselves - I have not written in a while, but this is a 3-part series. I should title this - "Things on my mind about the last 5 years that I want to get out in nice summarized format for my purposes only." But it is something completely different considering this was a blog originally intended for nutrition.

When someone mentions the acronym IVF to me, the first word/thought that comes to mind is tough. I start thinking of the long, arduous road that person has either traveled or about to embark upon. But IVF is not uncommon. I know several people, and a few close friends, who have had to go this route and it seems as though through casual conversation, it is more common than we may realize.

I did not write much during the year and a half that I did IVF, nor did I write much about my experience. I wrote about it in a personal journal, but did not put it out there for my 19 followers to read. Mostly because it is personal, but also because I tried to keep this blog tailored to nutrition – the intent for starting it in the first place. We all know that I failed miserably with that. 

But 3 years after the fact, I am reading more and more blog posts about IVF, and infertility in general, and the difficult time that many have had with it. I am searching into the depths of my brain to recall my experience and from what I remember, it was rather emotional obviously, but I also had a very rational outlook about things (despite what many others may think). Maybe someone googling “IVF” or “egg donation” will stumble upon this post and find solace in a more objective outlook. 

More than sadness and the general notion that “this isn’t fair”, I remember thinking, “okay, what do we do next to make this happen?”. Every failed mission to produce a healthy pregnancy was followed by tears but just as quickly a very rational, “okay, what next?”. I know for many, the next step is not possible due to the financial strain of fertility treatment, or the emotional or physical toll it has on the body. But somehow, giving up on my dream to become a mother and to carry my own child was just not an option. The shots, the hormones, the ultrasounds were all done with a medical approach - this is just what I have to do to make this happen for me. There was very little emotion involved with that process other than the stress of how much it cost and the normal emotional reactions with pumping large amounts of estrogen and progesterone in the body. 

Maybe it was rather impulsive of me, but I do not really remember giving it a second thought to use donor eggs when my attempts of using my own eggs failed. This decision can be a rather difficult one to make, but I honestly just thought – okay, this is the next step, let’s do this! There were many pros to this option for me which outweighed the cons – not having to do genetic testing for cystic fibrosis, not having to endure more needles, not having to have another egg retrieval, using younger eggs… the thought of using donor eggs made me MORE excited.

Even choosing an egg donor was more matter-of-fact for me than it likely is with most others. I put all my faith and trust in this egg donor agency at hand-selecting only quality egg donors.  The list was selective including maybe 23 women. I do remember the experience being very surreal – shopping for certain genetic traits for my future children. I remember one donor initially stuck out for us – mainly because her childhood pictures had a slight resemblance of me. Still, she was not our final pick. Apparently, just to put another emotional dagger into the game, egg donors can decide whether they really want to donate AFTER they are already on a list and selected. This is what happened to us. I was bummed, but again just thought, “okay, onto the next one!” We ended up choosing the first one that stuck out to us and I wholeheartedly believe she was meant to be.

From there it was a whirl-wind of appointments with a lawyer, appointments with the fertility clinic, genetic testing, and phone calls and e-mails with the donor agency. Three months after choosing a donor, I found myself at the fertility clinic waiting for the embryo transfer. The doctor came in announcing that we had 5 healthy embryos and were waiting another day for the results of 3 more. Eight!! Eight healthy embryos – so unheard of with one round of IVF. But for the day, the only thing that mattered was the doctor saying, “we will transfer two embryos today – and they are beautiful!” That, followed by “everyone here loved, loved, LOVED your donor”, were the best words I heard during my whole IVF journey. It made it seem all worth it.

(To be continued...)