Here we go again...
Good news! Step 3,217
down, only 2,156 more to go! That's what I originally wrote when I drafted this post. Unfortunately, step 3, 217 is not down and we still have many more to go.
Just a bit of background -as part of our glorious journey over the past few years, we discovered a little something about ourselves as well. Besides my lady parts not working, I also discovered that I am a carrier for classical cystic fibrosis. Okay, one in 25 people are carriers, no big deal. But then we also found out (at age 40) that GMOE is not only a carrier, but he actually has a form of atypical cystic fibrosis –obviously very mild or even asymptomatic as he is fine. Because of this though, there is a 50% chance that any offspring would have cystic fibrosis. The disconcerting part is that we don’t know if he/she would have a moderate or severe form of cystic fibrosis. Any way you look at it, the situation is not ideal, so perhaps this whole thing is a blessing in disguise? By being able to test the embryos before implantation, we get to choose the healthy ones and only transfer those. We were in the waiting process of the testing and found out the results of that testing tonight. For us, we only had two embryos, and now we're down to one. And that one is "inconclusive."
Talk about odds, and we'll throw in our shitty odds. One in 25 persons is a carrier for cystic fibrosis. One in 300 couples are both carriers for cystic fibrosis. I tried to look up the prevalence of those with atypical cystic fibrosis as my husband has, but I couldn't find it and I am sure it's not that common. Only 2% of tested embryos come back as "inconclusive." However, the odds we did beat? Over 90% of males with atypical cystic fibrosis are sterile. So, we got that going for us, which is nice. Overall, when you look at it, our odds aren't great. But there's still a chance!!!
When the geneticist called and left me a voice mail, jokingly, I said to my husband, "Watch, the test came back inconclusive, why else would the actual embryologist call me?" Maybe I bring this on myself?
Just a bit of background -as part of our glorious journey over the past few years, we discovered a little something about ourselves as well. Besides my lady parts not working, I also discovered that I am a carrier for classical cystic fibrosis. Okay, one in 25 people are carriers, no big deal. But then we also found out (at age 40) that GMOE is not only a carrier, but he actually has a form of atypical cystic fibrosis –obviously very mild or even asymptomatic as he is fine. Because of this though, there is a 50% chance that any offspring would have cystic fibrosis. The disconcerting part is that we don’t know if he/she would have a moderate or severe form of cystic fibrosis. Any way you look at it, the situation is not ideal, so perhaps this whole thing is a blessing in disguise? By being able to test the embryos before implantation, we get to choose the healthy ones and only transfer those. We were in the waiting process of the testing and found out the results of that testing tonight. For us, we only had two embryos, and now we're down to one. And that one is "inconclusive."
Talk about odds, and we'll throw in our shitty odds. One in 25 persons is a carrier for cystic fibrosis. One in 300 couples are both carriers for cystic fibrosis. I tried to look up the prevalence of those with atypical cystic fibrosis as my husband has, but I couldn't find it and I am sure it's not that common. Only 2% of tested embryos come back as "inconclusive." However, the odds we did beat? Over 90% of males with atypical cystic fibrosis are sterile. So, we got that going for us, which is nice. Overall, when you look at it, our odds aren't great. But there's still a chance!!!
When the geneticist called and left me a voice mail, jokingly, I said to my husband, "Watch, the test came back inconclusive, why else would the actual embryologist call me?" Maybe I bring this on myself?
I just want to thank everyone for their outpouring encouragement, love, and comments on my last post and for the comfort tonight with this news. I am so fortunate to have such amazing family and friends. My parents, especially, have been incredibly gracious, loving, and supportive ever since I told them about what we have been going through. My dad has taken us out for several lunches, dinners, and even more beers because he knew we could use the distraction. He's called me every day to see how I am doing. He even grew out his beard in show of support and solidarity when I was injecting myself with hormones 6 times/day. Because that worked, he continued to grow it out until we found out this news. So, dad, you can shave now. (Although I don’t think he minds not shaving - and it’s also working for the Royals winning streak!) My mom stalked me outside a facial appointment once just to give me a hug because she knew I had had a rough day. She has also been incredibly positive and has given me such encouragement and strength through this whole process. Anytime I am feeling like things aren't working out, my mom comes back with something positive that keeps me going. My aunt wrote me an incredibly thoughtful letter after my last post that brought me to tears. My co-worker/friend brought me ice-cream today (and many other days) because she knew that I was getting some sort of results today. She's also been with me every day through every step and offers hugs (or wine) anytime. My best friend called me and cried with me on the phone. So thank you all for your love and support. And again, I cannot give enough credit to my husband for letting me cry it out when I needed to, letting me scream, rant, and swear when I needed to, and for never blaming me for any of this.
As one commenter/friend/wise man stated, “at the very least,
you and GMOE found each other. This alone can be sufficient cause for perpetual
happiness.” Nothing is truer, and every time we are handed a bit of bad news, this
is what we have to lean on. No matter what happens, we have each other and our
friends and our family, and at the end of the day, what more can you ask for?
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