Got Milk??

Bite This: According to WHO, globally only 40% of infants under 6 months are exclusively breast fed.

Hey –oh! I am back! Likely just sweeping in,  time here will be fleeting. But I write when inspiration sparks, and this topic hits home.

Breastfeeding. They say it comes naturally and is this wonderful, beautiful, bonding thing. It’s not. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It’s frustrating, annoying, and aggravating. Bonding doesn’t happen right away either – sometimes rather than bonding, breastfeeding can cause anger and frustration towards the baby for not doing what he/she is supposed to do.

Breastfeeding definitely has its benefits, which is why women can be so stubborn to make it work even if it’s not working. Or maybe that is just me. The act of breastfeeding can help the uterus contract back to its normal size quicker and can also burn calories leading to greater weight loss. The hormones released decrease stress and have a calming effect. It can decrease the risk of ovarian and breast cancer. Breast milk contains antibodies to help build up the little one’s immune system, along with many other nutrients. It contains the right amount of protein, fat, and carbohydrates and if the mother is taking vitamin D, DHA, and prenatal vitamins, the baby also receives these nutrients. Some research has also shown that babies who are breastfed tend to be more intelligent, are less likely to be overweight and obese later in life, generally are better looking, faster, stronger, and sweeter. Okay, maybe a little exaggeration on the last four.

Breastfeeding is so overly pushed by everyone in the pediatric and nutrition community that sometimes women are made to feel badly or feel like a failure if they do not breastfeed. I have told many friends (even with my background in dietetics and nutrition) that if she is losing her sanity, switch to formula. Formula has improved greatly over the last few decades and is as close to breast milk as it has ever been. With the exception of antibodies, it now contains most of what breast milk contains and since 2002, DHA has been added as well.

I breast fed my twins for 9 months. I almost lost my sanity 3 times. One night in the first week they were home, again at 8 weeks when I had to supplement with formula, and then again when they were starting to move and I couldn’t just pump sitting next to them on the floor. It’s all still a blur, but there were many sleepless nights with cycles of [attempting] to nurse two babies, then having to pump because they both fell asleep within 2 minutes of nursing, then having to feed them each a bottle to make sure they ate. This cycle would take approximately an hour (or longer) and then I’d have to get up and do it again 2 hours later.  I did this for 8 weeks before realizing this was stupid. That’s when I started exclusively pumping and bottle feeding. Then I didn’t produce enough because I wasn’t nursing, so I started supplementing with formula. I cried the first time I supplemented because we, as women, are told again and again that breastfeeding is best and that you never truly have low supply because the milk production is based on supply and demand.  I felt like I had failed, or yet, that my body had failed at something it was supposed to naturally do…again.

The second time around I thought it would be easier. I dreamed of the days when I could just nurse, not have to warm a bottle, not have to supplement, and not have to pump. My third baby was much bigger than the other two so I thought nursing her would be a breeze. However, she likes to sleep. And she likes to fall asleep when eating, so again the eating, pumping, bottle feeding cycle began again. I got so annoyed with it that I stopped pumping which caused mastitis. Mastitis is enough for any woman to want to throw in the towel. But I was only 3 weeks in. And I am stubborn, so I pushed through. I kept thinking how much easier it would get the bigger and more alert she became. And it did. Three months in, and pumping when at work and nursing when at home, and it has become so much easier. But it’s still not easy or natural. The pumping has not ended, and even though she sleeps most of the night, I am waking up to pump. From  2 am – 7 am, I only get bursts of sleep.

There are other downsides. Like not being able to drink alcohol whenever I want and however much I want and with a newborn and two 2-year-olds is often... and a lot.  Or having to plan outings around feeding schedules, which is nearly impossible since I’m feeding on demand. So then I have to plan where I will nurse if I have to nurse, which is also nearly impossible if it’s me out with all 3 kids and I have two  to watch while I’m  feeding the other. I also feel sick immediately when I start to nurse or pump. The hormones released are so relaxing that it causes immediate fatigue and this “wiped out” feeling like I am getting sick. Luckily it subsides when I am done.

So why do I do it besides just being stubborn? I think because I know that I can do it and I am incredibly grateful that I am producing enough milk for my baby. (I know some women who physically cannot produce enough, or their baby doesn’t demand enough causing low supply.) And because she’s been sick twice already in her little life and I know it could have been much worse had she not gotten the antibodies from the breast milk. And because I am not losing my sh*t over it anymore. And because I know this will be the last time I do this.

Lets get this straight though – I am not complaining about the fact that I am able to breast feed, I am complaining about the process and how it is emphasized as an easy, natural thing.

Bottom line: In order to be a good mom, you need to rest, take care of yourself, and be happy.The first two are nearly impossible with a newborn, but If breastfeeding is causing you too much stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, or depression, it’s just not worth it. There’s nothing wrong with a little formula.